"What ifs"

I have a lot of "what ifs" rolling around in my head lately (about the past and the future, and how the two collide). I am thinking about how my past decisions or experiences combined with what is to come (whatever that may be) will affect how I view things in the future. Will it be good, bad? Will I regret? Also, I'm not sure if where I'm headed is where I want to be going, yet I don't know how its going to turn out either. 

I don't want to live in the past or assume that the worst of the future, but I still want to be smart and remain true to who I know I am. These seem very hard to balance. I need to find the golden mean between these two opposing sides. 

I'm just unsure about so many big things right now. Not that I have to know at this point, but I just want to be smart and not fall into a hole. I don't want to get stuck. I want more than anything to be an obedient follower of Christ, but I haven't made that priority and I don't want to let that slip away. 

I'm not sure where my heart is right now, but I know where I want it to be. 

Thats all for now.