Blind and lost without any sight of Resolve

I just want to see where this is going? 

I feel like everything truly good I had is now lost, and for stupid reasons. Misunderstandings and restlessness. 

I feel so blind, so lost, and like everything I had and worked so hard for is gone. 

How did this happen? What is the purpose of all of this? 

I wish more than anything for resolve, but I don't see how thats possible. 

how did this happen. How did I get here? 

When did I lose my sight? 

I try to regain balance, but I seem to lose my grasp when ever I get close. 

"Crooked souls trying to stay up straight

The Shadow proves the sunshine" 

Blind

I just want to see where this is going, but I'm totally blind. 

Caught between Green and Blue

I've always loved pictures of meadows and sky. Together they are the most beautiful scene I can think of. 

The grass is constant, soft (with the occasional thorn) and green, which cradles me so that I can rest in peace and contentment. Quite, understanding, and hidden, but somehow so present at times, and surprises me with flowers and a sense peacefulness. 

The sky is an ever changing bright blue, dark night, or pale and soft. It is brilliant and light, but contains great depth. The sky has so many elements. The wind, the weather, the rain, and sun are beautiful and complex, but too much and it could overwhelm and destroy. 

Without either one I don't know what I would do. 

I'm caught in the balance from one to the other. The sky sends the wind to pull me up, but gravity and the soft ground calls me back down. In a tug-a war where I am the rope I'm being torn in two. Painful, but I don't see a more comfortable alternative. 

Its not about comfort its about doing what's right, and that I don't even know what that is right now. 

A Child like Understanding

I think children understand what love is, but I think that understanding is usually (but not always) lost with age... somewhere the teenage years post likely due to selfishness. 

Some people grow up and get that understanding back. Others don't. I wish I lived in a world where more people understood, or at least where people weren't so self centered to so that the one thing they did understand was that they were lacking in the understanding department. 

I don't like grown ups. Or the grown up selfish mentality anyway. Selfishness is hateful.

wronged

There is no worse feeling than knowing you wronged someone. Other than posibly knowing that you are going to wrong someone. 

No matter what seems perfect something always hurts

the title covers it. 

"The Road to Hell is Paved with Good intentions"

This is a saying my teacher said in my Exegesis class that I have never heard before, but it really struck me. It is so true. 

I have the best of intentions and I feel like I'm stuck and headed for hell no matter what I do. I want everyone to be happy and feel loved and I want to do everything I possibly can to make that happen, but I always fail miserably. 

One of my favorite songs says "I'm not sure what's truly altruistic anymore...I won't be the one to disappoint you".....